College!

I feel as though I was taught that when a person reaches senior year, there future is basically planned out. They know where to go to college, what they have to do to get their dream job, and all the steps they need to complete to get to their adult life. Now almost reaching senior year, I can strongly state everything I thought I knew was completely and utterly wrong. Even the thought of going off to college next year has my whole body shaking to the very core. The amount of colleges out in the world is so abundant, I have no idea how I’m supposed to pick just one and I’m fearful that the day I finally do they will not want me. I don’t know if I’m going to like the career path I have set up for myself. I don’t know if moving out of state is a good choice or not. Every path leading towards my future is unknown and I’m petrified of that very statement. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to walk away from the friendships I have formed since childhood, not knowing which ones will last and which will age away with time. The idea of college has always seemed such a far away topic, something that I knew I would eventually have to worry about, but such times always seemed so distant. I’m not quite sure when the time passed between then and now, but some how those days went by so fast. A part of me has always been scarred to take such a big step into my future without knowing what will happen. Up until now, every school year: classes, schools, and teachers, were basically decided for each student, the biggest decision  being whether to take honors or Ap. College is different, everything is up to me, on my shoulders. The bad grades received will hurt me, the classes taken will be for my career, and the diploma at the end of the journey with be mine. I’m scarred to take that next step, scarred to trust in what the future holds for my one person, and yet with just one year left my feet keep moving, keeping walking towards the cliff that is my life, that is my future.

Eve Holbrook