Insomnia

It is no secret that sleep is vital for us to function. Without it, one can become sluggish and fatigued through their daily tasks. Not to mention, sleep is enjoyable. We revel in the quiet peace and stillness of our body at rest.

But there are some who have found sleep to be their enemy, to be unagreeable, to be a nightmare. We all experience a night once in awhile where our mind races around the train tracks of our skulls, and sleep is unattainable. The minutes tick by, and desperation creeps in and grips the soul.

According to WebMD, “Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by trouble falling asleep and/or staying asleep.” 60 million Americans suffer from this every year, says NPR. Insomnia can be caused by a number of things, including stress and certain medications. Acute insomnia becomes chronic when sleeplessness happens several times a week for over three weeks.

When I was two, I gave up naps. I would watch the sunlight stream through the crack of the curtains, my toes in the air, my mom snoring softly beside me. At three, I gave up sleeping at night, calling into the night for someone to restart the scratched CD that lulled my sister to sleep because perhaps it could help me too. I was not aware then that I would involved in a tug-of-war for the next decade between myself and insomnia.

I began to live off of six, maybe five hours of sleep. My bedtime was around seven, but I would only fall asleep after midnight. My parents began to grow tired of my issue, sighing heavily when I approached their bedside in the late hours of night and asked for help. Burdensome as I was, I stopped requesting aid. I saw a sleep specialist who said I should be able to get to sleep fine —there was nothing wrong with me. But there was. And so it continued.

Insomnia plagued my nights until I was fourteen. As it has for so many others, it shaped the way I think about sleep. It shaped the way I thought about everything.

My advice would be that next time you feel hopeless in your quest to fall asleep, pick up something that makes you feel happy. Maybe it’s a book from your childhood, a drawing from a friend. Get out of bed and DO something until you feel sleepy.

Remember, as well, that there are other insomniacs out there struggling too. You are not alone. It will get better. The dark of the night can feel so isolating, but 60 million Americans each year have seen the dawn rise. This too, shall pass.